What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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