my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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