You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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