is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
