I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
