i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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