we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Are my feet made of real feet?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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