So drunk, too bad you don't want this
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
