Got a toothbrush?
I wish I only lived at night.
I think I am morally bankrupt
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
