Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
