some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
