i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
