He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
sex in a hospital.. check
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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