ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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