yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
