if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
So much rum. So many feels.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
