If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
