9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
