gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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