i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
