nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
