Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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