Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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