got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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