And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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