so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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