I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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