id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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