WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
