I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
