I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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