nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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