wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
