who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
