some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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