I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
