Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
