Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So vagazzling was a success
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
