i was born a porn star she said
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
