I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
