I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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