Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
