Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
