I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
