Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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