Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
It's Friday. Sex?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
