DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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