how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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