I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
