I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he laminated a picture of his dick.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
