i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
there is puke in my bra ... again
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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