My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
